


Guns and Roses

by eddiewrites307



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Gay, M/M, Peter is a mess, Spideypool - Freeform, Wade loves his weaponry, but also goofy, peter you dumb bitch, peteypie goes snooping, sticking his nose where it shouldnt be, wade is scary as hell, we love wade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 12:28:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20907665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eddiewrites307/pseuds/eddiewrites307
Summary: When Peter locks himself out of his apartment, he quickly finds himself snooping where he shouldn't be in his neighbors apartment





	Guns and Roses

Peter cursed, kicking his door and cursing again as he hurt his foot.

He had locked himself out again.

How he kept doing this, he’ll never know, You’d think a guy would learn after a while to keep his fucking keys in his pocket, but nope. Never did.

Peter sighed, running through the list of his neighbors who might let him crash on their couch until the landlord came back from vacation.

Gwen? No, she was nice, but things were still awkward after their breakup last year.

Mr. Barton? Nah, the guy never slept, it would be too stressful.

Ms. Romanov? Nope, too scary.

Wade?...hm. Wade.

_ “Don’t worry baby boy, my apartments always unlocked. Why bother locking it, you know? I'm the scariest thing around here anyway!” _ _   
_

The mouthy flirt was covered in scars, but he was nice, and funny, and Peter did sort of have a crush on him anyway.

So, the recently-graduated biochem major gathered himself, gathered his nerves, went to knock on his weirdly attractive neighbors door.

“Wade?” He called, knocking lately. When no answer came, he knocked a bit harder, and the door opened slightly, showing the apartment was dark.

Peter blinked. Damn, there goes that plan.

Unless…

Wade wouldn’t mind if Peter just took a nap on his couch real quick, right? After all, the guy had said always unlocked, and he wasn’t kidding. So, making up his mind, Peter slipped through the open door and walked inside.

And holy shit, Wade’s apartment was  _ much _ nicer than Peter’s own. Better furniture, bigger windows, even a decent kitchen. 

The hell did he do for work, when Peter almost never saw him leave the place? Damn.

He hesitated, kinda wanting to poke around, but knowing he shouldn't. After all, he and Wade weren't that close, and it would just be invasive.

...but holy hell he wanted to.

He bit his lip, casting a look at the door. No sign of Wade. Maybe if he just opened this closet here, his curiosity would be satisfied...right?   


Right.

Nodding to himself, he opened the closet door, only to stumble backwards and he registered what was inside.

Guns.

Lots of guns.

Like, an excessive amount of guns.

Hold fucking shit, was Wade a secret redneck or something? Jesus, Peter really couldn’t deal with that, that would be the ultimate dealbreaker. He moved back towards the closet, slowly taking it all in. He wasn’t very knowledgeable about guns, but he recognized pistols, shotguns, machine guns, and military-level attack rifles.

Just...holy shit.

Peters eyes wandered down towards the ground, narrowing his eyes as he saw a small trail of red. He moved aside a magazine, only to stumble back once more, gagging.

That was a severed finger.

Oh my god, that was a severed finger.

Wade wasn’t a redneck, he was a  _ fucking murderer _ .

“Oh god.” Peter whispered to himself. He had to get out of here, right the hell now. He whirled around, only to smack right into a broad, leather-covered chest.

_ Please god, let it be the landlord. _

He looked up, and squeaked pathetically. “Uh...hey Wade.”   


Wade looked down at him, wearing the most serious expression Peter had ever seen on the goofy mans face, holding what looked to be a fucking katana. “Peter.” He sai darkly. Not Petey, not baby boy, just ‘Peter’. “Peter, what were you doing?”   


“I...I got locked out.” Peter whispered, trying to make himself as small as possible. “You said your door was always open, so I came in to sleep on your couch, and I…” He trailed off, not wanting to make anything worse.

“And you decided to go snooping around, did you?” Wade said, tone now deceptively light. “You a cop, Peter?”   


Peter squeaked again. “God no! I just graduated college! I’m just horribly curious about everything, and it's a real problem, and I promise I won't tell anyone oh god I swear please just dont kill me I promise-”   


Wades eyes widened. “Woah, I’m not gonna kill you! What made you think that?”   


Peter wordlessly pointed to the severed finger on the floor.

Wade winced. “Alright, I can see how you’d think that. Cmon, sit down.” He gestured to the couch with his katana, and in the light Peter could see it gleam with blood, and  _ oh god he was gonna be sick- _

“Breathe for me, baby boy.” Wades voice cut through his viel of panic. “Just breathe.”   


Peter let out a small hysterical laugh. “Easy for you to say, you're not trapped in an apartment with a serial killer!”   


“Fair enough.” Wade said nonchalantly, hanging his katana on a mantle. “But I’m really not what you think I am.”   


“What are you then?” Peter said, nerves and curiosity mixing in his tone.

“I’m a merc. A mercenary. I kill bad guys, erm, worse guys, for money.” Wade explained, sounding like he was merely discussing the weather. “I started when I was young, shot my abusive father in the face with his own gun. It...escalated from there. I joined Special Forces, that fucked me up fifty shades style. I got released, and I had a very special skill set at that point, so I put it to good use. I kill rapists, murderers, corrupt politicians, abusers, stuff like that.” Suddenly he was deadly serious, staring Peter in the eye. “But I have never in my life killed an innocent.”   


Peter, barely believing the words registering in his brain, nodded, trying to make sense of it all. Wade...was a bad guy, who killed...other bad guys. So was he really a bad guy?   


His head hurt.

“You gonna turn me in, Petey?” Wades soft voice cut through the panic, and the familiar nickname stirred something in Peter.   


He couldn't turn Wade in, he just couldn't. It was Wade.

Before he could dwell too long on it, Peter was whispering a quiet “no”, and Wade was smiling the widest he's ever seen.

“There we go, snookums!” Wade beamed. “See! Not so hard!”   


Peter cracked a smile. There was the Wade he knew and had fallen for.

“So, you said you came to sleep on my couch right?” At Peters nod, Wade moved closer and smirked. “I promise my bed is much more comfortable.”   


And at that, Peter burst out laughing, their familiar routine settling his guilt.

He could work with this.

He could definitely work with this.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for sweetsoursugarcube on tumblr, thanks so much love!!


End file.
